Self Delusion
by Alluum
Summary: Onesided: Kaka x Saku and Sasu x Saku - Kakashi notes the changes in Sakura and denies the truths. Slight romanctic leanings. This is a slight rewrite of my story 'Evaluating Weakness'


**Self Delusion**

The general opinion was that he had failed her as a teacher – or so the local bar patrons had informed him.

When he was her teacher he had never noticed her talents, favoured the boys over her and labelled her as weak; not that he was wrong in his description of her but his adherence to the label annoyed more than a few as the years passed. Whilst she had gained physical strength – he would tell the other drunkards only after another one of his 'eternal rivals' drinking competitions – she remained emotionally weak. Needless to say he complained once too many times to the shinobi and had to cope with the glares and nasty stares levelled at him for being blinded by his first impressions. But at the bidding, not to mention kunai prodding, of his fellow jounins Hatake Kakashi determined that it was time to re-evaluate Haruno Sakura's weakness.

She had begun to 'blossom' – for lack of a better word – into a beautiful and respected kunoichi when Team Kakashi was created and the six years since had completed the process. However, due to both her medical prowess and her renowned jounin skills the kunoichi's time was torn in three directions; hospital shifts, missions and her social life. Despite this he had her undivided attention whenever he arrived from a mission for she would appear within minutes to assess his injuries, a fact that had earn her the title of Kakashi's personal medic.

Two months past the shinobis' scolding found him and Sakura within his apartment; her attention fixated on his mortal wounds and his attention on her (under the guise of Icha Icha). Though he was already aware of her prowess at healing, he never noticed how her eyes would narrow at the sight of his blood or how warm and comforting her chakra felt or how she still bit her lip with unspoken concern for him. Though this information was interesting, it did nothing to assess her mental strength and as such he considered the option of observing her daily living.

This was quickly shot down as she often called him out from his observing and invited him to train with her, when she had the time. He was quick to accept the invitations with the proviso that she cook afterwards. Whilst the meal was not restaurant quality and the before-hand beating was a little off putting, Kakashi felt a jarring sense of warmth flood through him. True, he had been invited to Team Kakashi get-togethers but he'd been reading or on a mission and seeing her bustle about the kitchen, all smiles and domestication, made him realise that maybe he had missed out on something.

He refused to acknowledge this however and after the meal was cleared, the dishes washed he was moving for the door, he asked the definitive question.

"Sakura," enquiring eyes turned in his direction, "do you miss Sasuke?" At this her eyes lost their shine and their gaze fell to the floor.

"Yes but not as I would a lover, more a friend." With that the Copy Ninja took his leave, safe in the knowledge that that he was wrong. The mention of the youngest Uchiha's demise at the hand of his sibling had not broken her as he thought it would; given that less than eighteen months had passed since his corpse was discovered.

They had formed a semi-friendship over the three months since then; she still healed him after every mission and he occasionally came to her Team Kakashi dinners, if only to par-take in her warmth. It was therefore rather disconcerting to be turned down for a Friday night training session. At first he had accepted her decision, but then his thoughts turned to where she would be on Friday. He generally knew where she was on all occasions – as part of his observations. Sakura was nothing if a creature of habit. Her threatening Naruto, with the prospect of never being able to eat Ramen again, should he ever disturb her on the Friday night also made him more curious as to what she was doing.

He entertained the prospect of a boyfriend but this was improbable due to the over-protective eyes of Naruto and himself. The over-protectiveness he had linked to her perceived weakness – thinking that she would crumble if a man hurt her again. But since discovering that she was no longer such he subscribed to Naruto's theory that none were good enough for their Sakura. He knew her hospital shifts; none were settled on Friday either. Her friends had been denied plans on that Friday evening but Friday morning shopping was already arranged; a fact which in his mind warranted observation yet again.

It had been six months since that Friday and he was monitoring her again. It was harder than it should have been to observe her without being spotted but he insisted on doing so for a reason he wouldn't pin down. It was neither the first nor the last time he would perch on the tree outside her curtain-less living room window. It was neither the first nor last time he would watch her, bustling around her home with a proud smile plastered over her face. A civilian would assume that she was entertaining – until they realised whom the 'guest' was. The 'guest' came once every month to Sakura's apartment and her routine for the night was the same, even what Sakura wore.

She would arrive home at five and eagerly rush into the kitchen to prepare dinner for two. Her furisode, which she changed into at about six o'clock, was made of beautiful black silk with sakura blossoms embroidered on and coupled with a light pink obi to compliment her hair and geta. Her hair was always in a loose bun with wisps escaping onto her face and the result was always that she looked stunning; it pained Kakashi to see her dressed so beautifully for her 'guest'. After half an hour her meal was ready and she would perform hand-signs, too quick to be recognised (to those other than the Copy Nin) but the result was always the same.

'Uchiha Sasuke' would appear at the head of the table, dressed in the robes he died in. First time Kakashi had seen the raven-haired boy there, he'd almost fallen out of the tree, but upon revealing his Sharingan he'd seen through the genjutsu and Sakura's pretence. 'Sasuke' then proceeded to regale Sakura details of his day and she told him hers, they acted much like any married couple would. The meal would be eaten, dishes cleared away and they would move into the bedroom.

Here Kakashi would leave her and her fantasies while he pondered the existence of the weakness he had always connected to Sakura. Despite all he had seen the Great Copy-Nin would never refer to her as weak again, merely recall with bitter distaste, the sight of her and the Uchiha together. Were he honest with himself, he would admit that this distaste stemmed from the Uchiha's place in her heart rather than the weakness he symbolised in Sakura. The Man of a Thousand Jutsus however, was rarely if ever honest with himself and apparently neither was Sakura.


End file.
